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Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics' started by Consilum, May 25, 2012.

  1. Consilum

    Consilum New Member

    These eyes are open to see
    What's visible and there clearly.
    And clearly my ears can't hear you
    Cause my words never reach you.

    My sense of smell has always been strong,
    It's the fortitude that always proves me wrong,
    But am I wrong to think this through
    Because there's no more me and you.

    I can taste the bittersweet pill you induce,
    Why can't our fleeting countries just call a truce?
    A truce form a singing quior singing to our muse.
    That feeble inspiration that has outran its use.

    I no longer can sense your presence,
    I can only see and hear your resentment.
    The taste of your love is no longer permanent,
    And the feel of your warmth was never there to begin with.
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2012
  2. Angel

    Angel Lion Heart Staff Member Administrator

    Smell and Taste doesn't go along with your examples

    And towards the end you begin to become more abstract with the senses when they're actually physical.
  3. EtherealSummoner

    EtherealSummoner Lamentations 3:22-26

    :/ "a;way"? That is strange.

    @Angel He actually meant to have smell and taste become more than what they really are. Think about it. " My sense of smell has always been that strong. It is the fortitude that has always proved me wrong." He smells something that may prove him wrong. Say for example, you smell a rose. it may smell good but the smell may deceive you because even though the rose smells good, it actually has thorns to prick you. The "smell" is his main strength but it is not good enough to keep the person on the right path.

    As with taste, he really just pointing out how much he "feel" the girl's love that is sweet but at the same time, her sadness that she is showing. And since the woman's love was not permanent, he can't "taste" or "feel" it anymore.
    Very complicated to see if you only think of them as "Tasting" and "Smelling" but that is how I see it.
  4. Angel

    Angel Lion Heart Staff Member Administrator

    Must have meant "always" the semicolon is right by the "L".
    Really now!
    I'm sure fortitude is not the word that he is looking for.

    Thorns have nothing to do with smell. If the thorns prick you, you are feeling. If the thorns are in sight, you are seeing. It's not the smell that is deceiving regardless if it hurts you or not. It still smells good. Your opinion may be deceived by the smell.
  5. EtherealSummoner

    EtherealSummoner Lamentations 3:22-26

    I included thorns in there because I am showing the difference. What may "Smell" good may not "BE" good at all. I am thinking that is why Consilium used "fortitude" because one of his strength can prove him wrong. If I have to take it personal, say there is food on the table. It sure do "smell" good but the food may be deceiving because it may be poisoned.
  6. Angel

    Angel Lion Heart Staff Member Administrator

    Which has to do with conception whether you assume its "good" or "not".
    Fortitude is more of endurance in a painful situation.
  7. Consilum

    Consilum New Member

    I guess when I type as fast as I do, I missed that lol. Edited it in, by the way.

    Fortitude is the strength inside. And you see the way I used it to say that the strength is the thing that"proved me wrong", In other words, the strength failed me. Just so you can be clear on what exactly I meant.

    I just tried to think outside of the box when dealing with the senses, but still maintaining a "heartbreak" theme overall.
  8. EtherealSummoner

    EtherealSummoner Lamentations 3:22-26


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