~No Love Without~

Eurydice's Doubts

5 September 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

¿How could Thou believe I did not love Thee?
¿How could Thou believe soft words were not true?
Steps echo in an empty sepulcher,—
Where stillborn lies a love without true Faith,—

That one day flew from illusion's gold tree,—
Recumbent in a glade of diamond streams,
To wander lost in desert wilderness,—
Of doubts, recriminations and despair,—

It was so long ago heart left Eden,—
Only with full moon does soul feel sad pain,
A haunting of what could have been still here,—
An endless possibility of hopes.​

 

Thou,—More Than a Dream

8 September 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

(6-8-6-8,— …)
(1,2,1,2,—)

To know that Thou exist,
Pure object of perfection,—
Not thought that will desist,
With some new adulation,—

Pink daydreams may insist,
Another's insinuation,—
But only Thou persist,
Past all soul's investigation,—

Impossible,—Resist,
Flights of fancy,—Heart's temptation,—
That only optimist,
Would hope fair realization,

So,—Dear spiritualist,
Come taste my insinuation,—
A kiss surrealist,—
Lip musk,—Love's crimson persuasion.​

 

So Young,—Back Then

10 September 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

Green eyes that cradled me,
In new bosom moon's crescent,
Yellow aurora ring,
Sage musk lay sweet dew on grass,

¿How could it come to be?
Clear streaming time's short descent,
Would never let Thee sing,
And only soul's life harass,

Tonight I look at Thee,
Searching everywhere for scent,
Hoping for clues that bring,
Closer to Thee my lass,

Darkened by night our tree,
Where innocents lay decent,
A hope of someday king,
That became green and dull brass,

I think that I'll go see,
How much more Thou will ascent,
Upon dusk's cloudy wing,
And dream of souse and sass.​

 

Black Mare

11 September 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

¿Were are you freckled woman with mane of black?
Your kisses sent me into eternity,—
Blue heaven where storm clouds never billowed forth,
Baroque entreaties and tenderness sublime,—

Careless,—I thought another would be my love,
Caress and embrace never repeated more,
Easily let go,—that which I should adore,
Flitting from one to the next like errant dove,—

¿What is inside red heart's core that they all lack?
Despite women's freedoms in modernity,
You,—woman of horse and field and mountain berth,
If now in my old age I could turn back time,—

What strange magic, witchcraft, necromancer lore,
Could bring me back to fair Eden's verdant grove,
Where I would gladly stay and never far rove,
For there I found the most precious of soul's ore,—

I was too young to know I'd never come back,
I didn't believe in serendipity,—
And You,—freely gave a lifetime of love's worth,—
And You,—were old enough to know I was so green.​

 

Selene a Dancer Is

26 September 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

I've lost all sense of time and sun's rays bright,
Just seem to diffident drive me to night,
As if some sudden impulse seeks dark sight,

Or if some force with its impulsive might,
Forces my heart to beat with rhythm light,
And yet Selene does not make my mind right,

There seems to be a twisted knot or bight,
That circumscribes my heart and makes it tight,
Only a kiss can heal enchantress wight.​

 

Love's Right

26 September 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

When it's right,—every sacrifice is joy,
When it's right,—nothing seems too difficult,
When it's right,—zero can divide all things,
When it's right,—every small thing is delight,—

But, when it's wrong,—there's nothing can contain,
Heart's feeling that it's trapped in moment's pain,
Soul's twisting with unease at every glance,
And that slight nausea that body feels,

For life's greatest slavery is trapped love,
Bound between demands and expectations,
Chained to words and promises meaningless,
Or some empty rituals once magic,—

O what I'd give to find love that was right,
For there is no greater Eden for man,
Than to find that other that fulfills us,—
With joy's soul, warm heart, clear mind,— and glad eyes.​

 

A Moment's Hope

28 September 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

Embrittled all my hopes in one sweet kiss,
So short that meteors quick felled are cold,
And all I see are stars fixed up on high, —

How close Thy lips breathed on round mouth's soft rim,
As anxious orange fire that sparkled brief, —
¿Was it wild dance Thou played by stretching notes, —
That found insistence in Thy warm embrace?

¿Or just a moment's dream that came one night?
A teasing glimpse of what life could be like,
If only star's brief interlude was real.​

 

No Innocents In Love

30 September 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

We ride mortal vessel that knows life's waves,
A little bark of flesh and bones and blood,
Driven,—emotion's winds,—whither,—thither,—
In some inconsolable dance of lust,
Feather riding on love's gale force strength gusts,—

¿Why can't we reconcile ourselves and let go?
¿What is it that we think we can control?
As if our machinations could win death,—
Just wrap Thy lips around my lips and kiss,
As if eternity depended thus,

Entwined our bodies in a moment's hug,
From which might issue some new spark of life,
While frenzied both our hearts make skin break sweat,
So musk arises burning woods on fire,—
Continuance of cycles predestined.​

 

Somewhere You

5 October 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

Next time I'll know that sun and moon don't mix,
I'll know that man and woman different are,
Amends I'll make for differences remote,
Yet I'll rely on finding similar,

For I'll not make the same mistake again,
To think that I'll be able to change you,
And I know that I'll remain just the same,
Despite time's ravages I know I'll face,

For gentleness in word and deed I'll search,—
For a heart that loves with soul's core I'll search,—
For a touch so velvet subtle I'll search,—
For a true soul can merge I'll sure find.​

 

First Objects

6 October 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

White pale,—crescent new moon graces dusk's sky,
I know there's more to come but all's hidden,—
Soft blue,—washed out with light yellow tinge high,
Sun's final statement comes with subtleness,

Venus suspended high seems a quick throw,
From Titan hai-alai that broke and flew,
Slowly there's more gold in these two abstract,
As night falls sunset's deep sleep all darkens,

Just two,—that's all there is,—no more needed,
¿What tender passion draws them close this day?
¿What gentle words spoken invisible,—
Make of attraction this perfect sonnet?

There's no news of disasters up above,
There's no depression or illness either,
Only a beauty recognized itself,—
Only heart's melody of life itself,

¿Could this then be a love unfound,—unbound?
¿Could this so self-less be eternal lust?
¿What bindings of soul make this possible?
¿Would we have courage enough,—and make time?​

 

Hope

6 October 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

There's only one sure fantasy will do,
There's only one illusion can cure heart,—
Not much perusal required for all this,
Not much refusal endured for sure gift,—

There's only one pure destiny will do,
There's only one diffusion of short time,—
So much gay carousel can leave red heart,
So much fay arousal can touch clear soul,—

In truth of multiplicity's mirage,
With endless journeys into its dark maze,
Requires a courage and a risk unsure,
That patience with its surety might find.​

 

Tibetan Chant

16 October 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

Om mani padme om,—
Jeweled lotus flower,
How I yearn for Thy kiss,

Velvet melting pure white,—
Lost in Thy embraces,
Fair woman's temple soft,

Surrounded by Thy touch,
All essence in Thy musk,
For this I wait and pray,

A hermit on bleak peak,
Embracing a guitar,
With songs for solace wait,

Til in satori's fay,
All words do fade to joy,—
Thy Goddess breath myrrh hale.​

 

Long Lost Love's Lament

17 October 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

When Thou haunt me sad with,
Thy green eyed dreamy look,—
All I see are mists through clear tears,
Nothing in my heart feels right then,—

Time becomes shattered glass,
Broken fragments of lust,—
Each sharply piercing into soul,
Jagged red protrusions tearing,—

¿How could I a boy know,—
That our kisses were right,—
That I should not have held Thee back,—
That our love should have coursed entwined?

¿How was I to know then,—
Just how soon I'd lose Thee?
That eternity I'd wander,—
Looking for Eurydice mine.​

 

Three Small Words

19 October 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

¿What is it that you want from me?
¿To rip red heart out of rib cage,—
Soul's ruby,—pulsing time's sure beat,
Raw bleeding,—beating offer it,
As Aztec sacrifice to Gods,
Violent of earthquake and lava?

¿What is it that you want from me?
¿To use sly words to tell you lies,
As viper does its sinuous dance,
Entrancing prey as mesmerized,
Hypnotic trance cast by rhyme's beat,
With syllables of poisoned barbs?

¿What is it that you want from me?
¿My mind fixated as to craze,
So all my actions wander daze,
Short life to see through prism haze,
Entrapped emotions in a maze,
To which only you have sure key?

¿What is it that you want from me?
¿Where kisses tender not enough,—
Inflaming soul to its peak heat,
Torrential drenching avalanche,
Where lightning crackled ozone sharp,
And you could not contain your lust?

¿What is it that you want from me?
I gave you all soul's time precious,
Life's only myrrh with value gold,
Which now you seek to find reclaim,
But having gone found its escape,—
To regions where none dare to tread,

I gave you jeweled rose bud gems,
In velvets pink as never man,—
Adored and worshipped Queen you were,—
I,—fool,—full of false faded dreams,
That now have faded into dust,
For never magic,—"I love you."​

 

Deep Inside

21 October 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

¿How was I supposed to know your deep thoughts?
If not in words uttered as poetry,
Then perhaps in a glancing reference,
To happiness or how joy was all 'round,
Could have sufficed to say what was inside,—

¿How was I supposed to see your deep love?
If not in small deeds done on daily terms,
Like glass glaciers melting down mountain rocks,
Droplet by droplet wearing away stone,
To make a rivulet flowing to sea,—

¿How was I supposed to feel your deep wants?
If from our lust there was no lasting bond,—
Red passion hot inside volcano's core,
Could never with just violent force keep heart,
A prisoner in tall caldera's walls,—

¿How was I supposed to sense your deep soul?
If sunset and sunrise passed without note,
When life seemed just a business arrangement,
To be efficiently administered,
Especially my wild and crazy ways,—

¿How was I supposed to trust your deep change?
When years of patient waiting for your love,
Where barren left with emptiness profound,—
Yet soul finds harmony in every day,—
In little blooms that sprout in life's fairway.​

 

All One (Alone)

30 October 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

women ask me how i can live alone,
as if i was a hermit on hilltop
without a family or any friends
in isolation cast in island small;
or, solitary in confinement jail,—

it's not that hope has given up on love;
or, that my heart no wish of woman has,—
to tender kiss sweet lover's round smooth lips
would bring fulfillment and pleasure indeed,—
but then, there's safety in celibacy;

and, my housekeeper,—though a dog,—she is,—
is patient mistress waiting hand and foot,—
never a nag i hear from her wide mouth;
and, neither sullen impertinences,—
but, always a warm smile to greet my day,—

¿what of it?— ¿that there be small chance of love?
if never more blue bounded heaven fills
with sparkling constellations bonded firm
routines of rise and set,—like moon and sun,—
—inamorato-inamorata,—

¿what of it?— ¿that yellow sear as tears falls?
this autumn with frosted bramble roses,
still sees rose dawn wake with crescent moon high;
encased red petals glisten in sun's light,—
while soul delights in treasures wilting soon.​

 

Halloween 2005

31 October 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

On nights like this,—when Zephyr's strong cold winds,
Would rend to bits and sunder this small house,
With moon late rising crescent almost hid,
In darkness of new month's beginning days,

No soul would play a flute that would wail so,—
Breeze contorts 'round resonant song contours,
Whistling branches sing as peaked roof howls out,
Chiding me with sad haunting melodies,—

White puffed clouds wisk briskly across heaven,—
Pierced with constellations and shining stars,—
In soft black velvet mantel's profusion,
Remind me of jeweled gift cases once,—

Mars inflamed winks wickedly and smirks smug,
So sure that he will feast on my red heart,
Pierced and splattered sacrificial organ,
But residue of love that has been lost,—

This black spell lit with Jack-O-Lantern light,
Brings our primordial our deepest wish,
Makes necromancy seem reality,
And makes us hope that we can cast our charm,—

Yet though for true companion I do yearn,
For She that under coverlet will warm,
With tender passion all our heartfelt trust,—
This night,—I am content,—to look at stars.​

 

Bottom Line

1 November 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

Soft words and kindness,—¿Can Thou live with that?
Deep gentleness,—¿Inspire Thy trust and lust?
¿Will Thou see weakness when I don't respond,—
To pin sharp barb or quick comment cynic,—?

Music and singing,—¿Can Thou live with that?
¿Though punctuated with long silences,
Will Thou see thinking as a lack of words,—
Mistaking mind's activity for sloth,—?

Running and swimming,—¿Can Thou live with that?
¿Will Thou see body's action as dumbness,
Without requiring professional fees,
Yet feel enjoyment in our motion's flow,—?

Abiding faith's love,—¿Can Thou live with that?
¿Without firm need for Shul or Church strictures,
Discover scriptures written in our hearts,
Fill Heaven with soul's daily blessings true,—?

Reading and writing,—¿Can Thou live with that?
¿No TV,—just hard books,—soft magazines,
Falling off walls and rolling on carpets,—
And movies,—without brief commercial breaks,—?

I've grown a beard that only death will shave,—
But wait,—I'm sure there's irritants to boot,
Including how I kiss or how I love,—
O Yes,—I'm crazy. ¿Can Thou live with that?​

 

Brief Letter For Her Heart

6 November 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

Ink stained finger tips have strained to tell Thee,
Of love's request without a conquest's need,
I've battled with soul rattled as blown seed,—
Mystery,—Thy lack of surety,—¿See?

Thy kiss,—a gift Earth will soon miss,—prithee,
Will not prevent or subvert old death mean,
For implorations and orations keen,—
Sugar charms and warm arms inspiring me,

Purely more surely straight road to Heaven,
Green earthly and stately love made Eden,
Though on sweet fruit's bough lives serpent heathen,
We are but flesh from clay,—man kissed maiden.​

 

Mediterranean Dreams

7 November 2005
Corpus Christi, Texas

¿Once trampled,—can innocence perfumed bloom?
Frail trust's petals, tender,—needs be embraced,—
¿If Thine was love that I experienced,—
What hope has he that thought quite otherwise?

O,—my gentleness was not sun enough,
To melt Thy heart's blue ice-glacier caverns,
But I, Neanderthal in all my quests,
With stubbornness refused to recognize,

An age that was not Spring, but cold's Winter,
Required flint spears and fierce survival skills,—
Lest we migrate to southern lands of warmth,
Bound we remained to cave and smoke filled halls,

Now vanished rock-totem moon figurines,
I've wandered to a land of desert heat,
Where light is felt as gloried splendid days,
And I, no worship have to make of Thee.​