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The Halfway House

Discussion in 'Traditional' started by DarkAngel, Jan 10, 2012.

  1. DarkAngel

    DarkAngel Banned

    this is my seconed Story that I got from one of my favorit books called "The Juvie Three" (For those of you who don't know what this is Here is a sumary link, The Juvie Three Summary | Xtranormal)
    this is after Doglus Healy's Halfway house works and he gose on to retirement. Arjay, Terance, Gecko and Roxan are in charge of the Halfway hose now and have 5 new kids in the program. I can't tell you all about it so you are going to have to read the book to understand this. Unfortunetly I don't have a link for the book its self but you will understand it later in this story.


    and now without furter adue...

    The Halfway House​


    Prologe

    Tribe was waiting in an ally looking around Hopeing that his brother Dilan wouldn't show.
    Funny how he works, Tribe thought, When you want him he is never around but the one time he wants you... "Hey!" Tribe jumped at the sound of Dilans voice. "What the hell?!" Tribe said as he looked at his brother. "You just show up out of no where and try to scare me out of my skin?!" Dilan knocked his brother in the back of the head. "You should respect your elders boy. now are you ready?" Dilan said. Tribe rolled his eyes and walked over to the car that his brother and his brothers possy high jacked. "You realy know how to pick them." said Tribe as he looked at the '97 powder blue Camero. "Whats the catch?" said Tribe knowing he was 2 years too young to drive a car like this, or any car for that matter. "...Me and my boy's are going on a little hist in the game store." There it was. the hole reson Tribe was here. ever sence that day Dilan saw Tribe drive a go-cart his fate was sealed. A get-away Driver in training sence age 9 "Fine but this the last Highjack I do for you guys." said Tribe. Dilan and his possy walked over to the Game store and Tribe started the car and drove down the road in the opposte direction.
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2012
  2. EtherealSummoner

    EtherealSummoner Lamentations 3:22-26

    Yea. You have just as many spelling and grammar errors in this than your last story that you are doing. You are also leaving yout quotations (" ")... and you spelled Dilan wrong in one of the sentences. I also did not know what you where trying to say with this sentence:

    "...Me and my boy are going on a little hist in the game store."
     
  3. DarkAngel

    DarkAngel Banned

    it's "my boy's" and it means that they are going to steal games...


    Chapter1:Atchisen


    Tribe burned his finger trying to get the Dressing's out of the hot Drier. He got even more pissed off at the fact that he was stuck here in Atchiesen because of his brother, after the car flipped he and Dilan where the only ones to survive. Tribe did however feel sorry for Dilan though, he gets adult time while Tribe was stuck in the so called good-boy’s juvie. Tribe worried for his brother, but today he found out that he might have to be worried more for his life. As Tribe gets to folding the dressings he suddenly gets covered in a pillow case. He tries to struggle but someone was holding him too tight. All of a sudden he feels something that feels like a brick slam against his stomach.

    Tribe started to gasp for breath and waited for the final blow when he all of a sudden heard a voice. “Hey!” said the mystery person. The attacker’s dropped what they were doing and ran. As Tribe held his stomach the mystery figure walked over and took the pillow case off of him. “You ok?” the man asked Tribe. “Other than getting hit with a brick yea I’m fine.” Said tribe as he rolled onto his back. The man picked up a sock that was on the floor. “That wasn’t a brick.” Said the man showing the sock to Tribe “I had the same thing happen to me when I was here, it’s just a sock with a bar of soap in it.”

    Tribe pulled himself up with the man’s help. “You went through this too?” Tribe asked. “howed you survive?” “Simple.” Said the man “The same way you did. Someone came in just at the right moment.” Just then a man called Mr. Yelnese walked in. “Mr. Fosse!” he said in surprise. “You know visitors aren’t supposed to be back here.” The so called Mr. Fosse helped Tribe up to his feet. “You should be watching these kids more closely.” Then when the three of them where situated they went to the visitor’s room. Tribe sat in one of the chairs and slouched a little.

    Mr. Fosse sat across from him. “Well, now that we are settled in let me introduce myself. My name is Graham “Gecko” Fosse.” Tribe cut him off for a moment. “’Gecko’? As in the Lizard? What is that some sort of code name?” Mr. Fosse Chuckled. “No that would have been my street name.” Tribe was even more confused. “You were part of a street gang?” he asked. Mr. Fosse looked at the sealing “Not exactly. But enough about me how did you react to the news you got?” Tribe gave him a weird look. “What news?” he asked. Mr. Fosse was skeptical. “You haven’t heard?” Tribe shook his head. Mr. Fosse looked down then he stood up and turned to Mr. Yelnese.
    “Douglas Healy started this and you didn’t tell me then and now that I am in control of this the kid I have considered isn’t told?! What is wrong with you people?! Just tell the kid as soon as you hear about it!!” Mr. Yelnese looked at Mr. Fosse. “I wasn’t in charge of it. I will ask the supervisor about it later.” Mr. Fosse sighed, sat down and put his hand on his head. Tribe was more curious than ever. “What is this all about Mr. Fosse?” he asked. Mr. Fosse took his hand from his head and looked at Tribe with a compassionate smile.
    “Please just call me Gecko, it’s easier for me. Trevor…” Gecko started. “The name is Tribe.” Said Tribe. Gecko put his hand on his chest and removed it “My apologies,” Gecko said. “Tribe, how would you like to get out of this dreadful place, right now? Today.” Tribe was Shocked and skeptical. “You’re pulling my leg right?” Gecko shook his head. “Nope. I can get you out of here right now. But there are some…conditions.” Tribe knew it was too good to be true. “Alright out with it, what do I have to be 78 or something?” Tribe asked somewhat sarcastic. Gecko chuckled. “A natural jokester I see. That’s good. You can use that as much as you want where you are going.”

    Tribe was bewildered. “I thought you said there were “Conditions”.” Gecko nodded, “yes. But they don’t apply just yet.” Tribe was again skeptical. “What are they?” he asked. “Well for one,” Gecko said. “There will be no contact with the outside for up to six months. Two, you have to go to group and community service. And Three, you mess up in any way you get sent straight back here.” Tribe was sure that this was a joke. “That’s it? There has to be more. You’re pulling my leg.” Gecko shook his head. “Not at all, so how ‘bout it. You in?” Tribe didn’t say it directly but he was in when Gecko said Right now? Today.


    Next Chapter: Murdurer?
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2012
  4. EtherealSummoner

    EtherealSummoner Lamentations 3:22-26

    I was enjoying the first two paragraphs... but then I ended up coming across the third paragraph. You went and said "Howed you survived?" It should be "How did you survived?". Also, "Then when the three of them where situated they went to the visitor’s room." You said where instead of were. Where should be in relation to a place. XD And Gecko... I tend to think of this game called Enter the Gecko 64. I love that game. You caught my attention there. :) You are developing a good story so keep it up.
     
  5. DarkAngel

    DarkAngel Banned

    Thanks:D but unfortunetly I hit a writers block so I don't know when it will be up agian:D
     

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