Taking a break

Sorry for the 2nd such topic in a short while...the last one was resolved rather quickly, but I don't think this one will resolve very quickly ):

I went to the doc the other day, because I had a pretty bad headache/dizzy spell and he couldn't determine what was wrong...so I had to go get some tests/scans done, and they don't exactly know what's up yet. The doctor said it's stress-related and "I should have nothing to worry about" but I always have that feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach that it's cancer or something serious.

So yeah, I've been going through a lot of stress lately, things ranging from the unimportant/silly (worrying about RPs dying, stressing over debate topics, online games, fighting with a close friend of mine, etc.) to the 'life-changing' (Looking for a supervisor for my Masters Thesis, looking for a job, looking for a place to live, my health (like I mentioned above) etc.). All the while, I've had an incredibly low view of myself...my self worth is slowly dying away because I'm not working, helping people (I almost always tutor other students, but I have no prospects right now), or doing anything significant in my life, at the moment.

So it's ultimately resulted in (self-diagnosed, aka un-medicated) depression. I can't exactly stop looking for a job or place to live, and I constantly have to think about topics for my thesis...so I thought I'd eliminate some of the more 'unimportant' (in the grand scheme of things) items from that list...unfortunately, that means these web-forums (among a few other things) are on the chopping block.

Please note that, it's not like someone here has offended me, or that I'm mad at this place or that I don't like it...I just have a lot going on right now, and I think it's in my best interest to lay low for a bit.

I might browse and just not post as much (so feel free to PM me! I'll definitely be around enough / check my email and be able to respond), or I may cut down entirely...I suppose I'm not 'leaving' per say, but I feel like I should post this anyway since my activity may be kind of sporadic. Whatever happens though, when I feel better my activity will increase again.

I don't think there's anything to worry about...but just in the off-chance something bad should happen to me, I'd just like to thank everyone for their kindness...I think what people generally neglect in this life, is that it's the little things that make a difference. Some of you have told me you like my roleplaying style (for instance) which was completely unexpected, and very kind. By doing so, you made me smile a bit, which at a time like this, that's a real boost.


I apologize for the 'emo'-ness of this post...but everybody is down on their luck sometimes, and it's just one of those times for me.

 

Hi,

Mike ask me to post and let everyone know he is in hospital. He need an operation and wont have it for a few days.

 

I'm aliiiive.

Still very nauseous though, so I have to take it easy. I'm home now at least, which is always a good thing.

I had a growth, which I thought for many years was a 'pressure point' on my skull, because when I pushed on it, it'd hurt like heck, haha. Turns out it was a benign tumour...I went in for headaches, doctor expressed some concern, got a biopsy done, came back benign (ie. 'harmless' or 'non-growing') but was still believed to be the cause of my headaches, so I had it surgically removed.

I'm not completely out of the woods yet, because such an operation weakens the blood vessels in the surrounding area (making me vulnerable to aneurysm for the next few months) so I really need to relax. My level of concentration seems higher though...even though my head still hurts haha. I suppose there are worse things.

EDIT: Is your diabetes Type I or Type II Yukou? (Calling one 'adult onset' is a misnomer, since they can both happen as a child or adult) I hope you don't have too much trouble treating it...my father had Type II and after a year or so of adjusting his diet and engaging in some cardio-aerobic exercise, it 'went away.' ... but of course what I mean is that it stopped being such a major threat, his blood sugar levels returned more or less to normal for various reasons.