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Eiabatis

Discussion in 'Traditional' started by mitsukaiwolf, May 16, 2009.

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  1. mitsukaiwolf

    mitsukaiwolf New Member

    Eiabatis.

    Preface

    The year is 2352. Vampires are still alive and well. Werewolves run wild in the hilltops. But no one knows about these mysterious creatures. Unless of course, you’re a Tremblay. The Tremblays aren’t exactly what you would call normal. Simon, the oldest, works in MCPC, the local police. He’s tall about 6'4, with long flowing brown hair. He’s not too muscular, but defiantly in shape. Eta, the second oldest is well..very handsome. He’s about 6'0 with medium length golden hair, the most gorgeous crimson eyes, muscular, and downright gorgeous, but there’s something mysterious about him. Finally there’s Aitor. Aitor is well..Aitor. He’s average height, with short brown hair. Blue eyes, average built, and is always smiling.

    And of course there’s me.

    You’re wondering who I am? Well, my name is Ellie Wilson. Im 18, 5'3, and I have medium length curly brown hair. Im Definitely not athletic. Aitor has been my best friend since 6th grade. He and his brothers moved here after their mom and dad died in an accident. Aitor, and I belong to a small group of close friends. Louis Murphy, who always is trying to get me to date him. Sam Gallagher, the clown of the group. The Schwartz twins, Shun and Luka. Shun is a bit of a hothead, and Luka is the more sensitive one. Last in our group in Alice Clearwater. She’s my closest girl friend, and I come to her whenever I need to talk about anything Boy related..

    We live in the Busy city of Eiabatis, it’s a huge city filled with shopping areas, condos, apartments, crime, and poverty. Me, and my family live on the west side of the city. We live in a gated community and were the last house on the left. Our house is a very old Victorian home. 4 bedrooms, living area, and the Servants Quarters. Eta and Aitor live 3 houses down from me. They’re house is newer and I really don’t know what it is for sure. We all lived a normal life, until the day of the Rose festival. That’s when everything changed.





    Chapter 1.It was a busy morning in our home. You see, It was the rose festival today, and everyone was excited. My dad, was recently elected Mayor of our big city. For the last month he’s been bragging about how this year, the Rose festival is going to be the best ever. I couldn’t help but ignore him most of the time, because I was too busy fantasizing over this incredibly guy. Eta Tremblay. That name made every muscle in my body quiver with excitement. I couldn’t help but get nervous every time he made eye contact. Aitor, who was Eta’s brother, and my best friend couldn’t help but express how he felt about my obsessing.

    “ Ellie, you shouldn’t fantasize over Eta, he’s different from the rest of us.” I just shook my head and then chirped out, “ Aitor, he’s just so wonderful.” Aitor then mumbled out something that I couldn’t hear. That was just last week. Aitor was constantly trying to get me over Eta, but that wasn’t happening anytime soon.

    “Um, Ellie? Your going to be late for the festival.” Dad said as he shook me to my senses.

    “Oh right, thanks dad.” I then got up from our table and walked out the door. As soon as I hit the door I bolted over to Aitor’s house. I was there within a minute. Right as I got to the door, Aitor flung it open.
    “How do you always do that?” I asked as I tried to catch my breath. He shrugged and led me into the living room.
    “I’ll be back” he said to me as he headed into the basement. I shrugged and moved into the small, but elegant living room, then I heard Eta come down the stairs. As his foot hit the last step, my heart stopped. As he turned the corner, he noticed me standing there. He then spoke.

    “ Oh, hello there Ellie, I didn’t realize you were here” he smiled at he, and then started for the couch. “ Would you care to join me?” I nodded then walked over and plumped down on the soft leather couch. He smiled at me for a moment and then realized he hadn’t said anything. “I’m sorry. I’m being rude, I’m not much of a people person you know.” he smiled again. I couldn’t help but shudder at his voice. “ Are you cold?, You just shuddered.” his beautiful crimson eyes were staring at me. It took all my strength I managed to chirp out a-
    “ I’m fine.” he stared at me for a moment, then called to Aitor.
    “Aitor are you ready?”, “were going to be late!” I heard Aitor trot up the steps and open the door leading to his room. As he walked into the living room, he mumbled something. After a minute of staring at us he said “I didn’t realize you guys were getting so close.” Eta began to chuckle nervously, and my face turned red.

    “ Oh come on Aitor, we’re just friends.” my face began to turn more red at that remark. “Unless Ellie would be willing to change that.” I stared at Eta for a moment confused and dazed.
    “Really?” I squeaked. I was overwhelmed with joy. “Eta, you really mean it?”
    “Sure we can try.” ,“It couldn’t hurt anything.” he smiled at me, and then at Aitor.
    Aitor glared at Eta but turned away grumbling something incoherent as he walked off.
    Eta sighed.
    “Don’t worry about Aitor, he’ll be fine.” I assured him. “We should probably get to the festival, You ready?”
    He nodded and we left. The festival was wonderful. So many different colors, sounds, and activities. During the whole time I was there, I searched, and searched for Aitor. He was no where to be found. Eta suggested he was with some girl. I didn’t believe that one bit. It was now nightfall and I was getting tired. Eta suggested we should go. I nodded and began to follow him. We wove in and out of the crowd In the streets. Eta moved swiftly, and gracefully, while I stumbled behind. Eta then took a sharp turn to the left. I continued to follow. Then he stopped. We were in a dark alley.
    “Why did you lead me here Eta?” he just stood there. “Eta?” still nothing.
    “I’m sorry”, “so sorry Ellie.” he motioned towards me.
    “What are you talking about Eta?” he moved a little closer.
    “I have to change you Ellie.” he again moved closer.
    “What do you mean Eta? Change me?” My mind was racing thinking of possible meanings for that phrase. He finally was in my face.
    “Ellie, I’m not like other people.” his eyes weren’t his normal color, they were pitch black.
    That one sentence shook me to my very core. Suddenly I understood everything. Why he couldn’t show emotions very well. Why he wasn’t like other people. His eye color. It all made sense. I shrieked. “You’re a Vampire!”
    “That’s right Ellie” he said as he leaned in for the bite.
    Just then Aitor Jumped in.
    “ Get outta here Eta.”
    Eta Smirked. “ Aitor Don’t make me change you as well.”

    “I’d rather it be me, then Her.” Aitor turned to me and smiled. “It’s going to be okay Ellie.” I just nodded and stood there. Aitor was the first one to make a move. He ran towards Eta with some sort of stick-like weapon. He slashed at Eta, but eta quickly dodged his attack. Eta then came back with a quick uppercut to the chin.
    “ Aitor, you can’t win.”, “You really think you can win against a vampire?” He began to chuckle maniacally.
    Eta then pulled out some sort of spike, and thrashed it into Aitor’s left leg. I burst into tears as Aitor cried out in pain.
    Aitor then turned to me and said “ It’ll be okay Ellie, I’ll be fine.” Aitor tried to get up, but Eta kicked him back down. Eta then did the most horrible thing of all. He leaned in, and thrashed his teeth into Aitor’s neck.
    Aitor screamed out in pain, as the venom pierced his blood. He was thrashing all around and began convulsing. He turned to me, and I saw his eyes flash into a dark silver color.
    I shrieked as I saw the fangs shoot out of his mouth. He smiled at me and I knew it was going to be okay.
     
  2. EtherealSummoner

    EtherealSummoner Lamentations 3:22-26

    Whoa. Vampires? This'll be interesting.
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2009
  3. Legendseeker

    Legendseeker OPON Content Writer

    woah... very Vampirey. :D nice
     
  4. mitsukaiwolf

    mitsukaiwolf New Member

    thanks, and dont worry it wont be anything like Twilight.
     
  5. Legendseeker

    Legendseeker OPON Content Writer

    I'd hope not. lol
     
  6. mitsukaiwolf

    mitsukaiwolf New Member

    i love twilight, but this is more action less love. lol
     
  7. Destiny

    Destiny Guest

    /hey nice story, I think you might of rushed this just a little to much, I would have expanded it moore like, have it where you have a day of school talking about the festival, then hanging out, then at home, but at all those locations have it where you'd stare at Eta and everything and show how much yoru character cares about him, and instead have your character ask. Then the rose festival then the big news.
     
  8. mitsukaiwolf

    mitsukaiwolf New Member

    yea i feel that way too. this has been sitting around for awhile, and i just threw it out here.
     
  9. Destiny

    Destiny Guest

    It's really good, I'm going to send you an invite into the writers group.
     
  10. Colonel Caboose

    Colonel Caboose The Man, the Myth, the Legend



    Thank you so much! also so far so good.
     
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