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my first poem written

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics' started by xrawrxmassacre, Aug 31, 2008.

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  1. xrawrxmassacre

    xrawrxmassacre New Member

    this is my first attempt to ever write a poem. i know it's horriblely written but hey it was my first try! give some opinions about it :]

    Roses
    by xrawrxmassacre

    I walk alone in a field of roses
    Looking for the perfect rose for me
    They all look so beautiful
    And all the same
    I was tired of looking at the same flower it seemed over and over again
    I searched and I searched
    I could find nothing but all "perfect" roses
    I was about to give up
    But out of the corner of my eye
    A rose caught my eye
    It was broken
    Like me
    It was almost petalless
    Its color was fading
    The thorns weren't as sharp as always
    Letting all the others hurt it
    I couldn't help but smile
    Knowing this is the rose for me
    In this rose is a real person
    Who is itself
    Even though it is broken
    It is perfect in my eyes
    Better than the most beautiful roses out there
    I didn't care if there was barely any color
    Nor did that it barely had any petals
    I loved it
    I only wonder if it would love me back
    The way I love it
    I never want to let go
    I want to heal it
    And make it more beautiful than all the others
     
  2. Kyuu

    Kyuu your worst nightmare.

    That's beautiful poem. -^^- I like it, keep going.
     
  3. Oath

    Oath King Bitch™

    Its pretty. A little uneaven though.
    Its beautiful all the same. Keep writing. You're really good.
     
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