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Sex Before Marriage

Discussion in 'Mature Discussion' started by Kitty, Sep 22, 2014.

  1. Sep 22, 2014 #1
    Kitty

    Kitty I Survived The BG Massacre Staff Member Administrator

    What are your thoughts on premarital sex? Do you agree with it, or not, and why? Does it perhaps contradict your religious beliefs? Whatever you want to say about it (though I will say that I am not looking for a debate here, just a discussion about your own personal thoughts on the subject.

    I'll post my thoughts after some others share, since I'm sort of feeling like the only one on the forum lately. >_<
     
  2. Sep 23, 2014 #2
    me4lingual

    me4lingual Active Member

    One year ago, I would say that yes, one should wait until marriage to have sex. After all, the consequences that could result from performing said act are huge; be they a future child, STDs, etc. And though it is not necessarily true in all cases; the act of marriage is kind of a message saying that one is mature enough to handle the aforementioned consequences.

    But nowadays, the concept of marriage is one that is in decline. More and more people are choosing to simply live with their partner, rather than have the "official" title. Who's to say that their love for one another isn't as strong as those who went ahead and received that title? That their bond can handle any consequences that may result?

    And then you have people who have absolutely no interest in being with another person, be it marriage or otherwise. Maybe it is because they have had or seen bad experiences with people on some kind of intimate/romantic level, and choose to not be tied down with someone. Must they deny themselves the chance at sexual release because of some rule that has been imprinted in their minds since childhood.

    Anyway...

    I still kind of believe that one should wait, but I am much more understanding to each specific situation. It isn't really my place to say that people should wait; but I think that if you understand what could happen because of sexual activity, and can handle anything that could result, then you are more than welcome to it.
     
  3. Sep 23, 2014 #3
    NeRo

    NeRo Your Supreme Lord And Savior Staff Member Administrator

    Do i belive in sex before marriage...well YES. Let me elaborate. i used to think i'd find " the one" and she'd be the one i'd be willing to share that moment with when we were married but. That was a unreal ideology. I don't have sex as a thing to pass the time. i think it's something that two people that really care for each other should be able to share together as one. Not as something just to do. But at the same time when you marry someone if there sex drive does not fufill you that could make the relationship a bit rocky. you'd be surprised if the sex isnt good people will leave. and if i'm with you and only you? forever? and you're bad in bed?...i um..i don't know. Gotta test drive some other cars lol.
     
  4. Sep 24, 2014 #4
    Taboo Sho

    Taboo Sho The Math Emperor Staff Member Moderator Content Writer

    Honestly, I don't particularly mind either way. If it comes down to it, I'll leave that decision to my partner. If I ever marry anyone, it'll be someone who loves me for me, so before, or after, it doesn't really matter to me. As long as I love this person and they love me back, I won't care when we have sex.

    However, I figure I'd point out that on the other end of the spectrum, us LGBT folks have a difficult time getting legally married, so while I don't particularly mind either way, if I had to choose a preference I'd likely choose before marriage.
     
  5. Sep 24, 2014 #5
    Kodakliv

    Kodakliv Member

    I'm old school I guess you should be married before having sex.
     
  6. Sep 27, 2014 #6
    Kitty

    Kitty I Survived The BG Massacre Staff Member Administrator

    I thought about that when I was making the thread, but "Sex Before Meeting the Person You Want To Spend the Rest of Your Life With" is a bit more of a mouthful, so "sex before marriage" won out. ;)

    I agree with this. Even the people who do marry seem to make a sham of the institution by divorcing within a ridiculously short amount of time. Not to mention, like Taboo Sho said, there are still a lot of people who legally can't marry each other.

    My public face response is that what consenting adults do or not do within four walls is up to them, and more power to them, providing that they are smart about it and staying safe, and are fully prepared to deal with the consequences. My private philosophy is also not opposed to sex before marriage, but going home with strangers is equally not for me. So, waiting, with reservations- being comfortable and feeling trust before rushing into anything, however long that might take.
     
  7. Feb 26, 2015 #7
    Mike

    Mike Member

    Times, they are a-changin'. If you posted this topic back in 2000, you'd have the complete opposite response...I find that fascinating.

    Personally, I feel the 'uncontrolled sex' that is becoming more and more socially acceptable (hook-up culture, the paradigm shift of marriage, religion, and anything that doesn't feel good), is highly problematic. The spread of STIs for instance, is not caused by people having sex for the 'right reasons' and I'm sure it's clear what I mean by that. People typically argue that it's their right to be able to have sex, and it is, but it's not your right to be able to have sex with anyone (I'd be so bold as to even say anyone consenting), contrary to popular belief. Certain places have rights to bear arms, but they don't have the right to shoot anyone, and it's a similar kind of idea.

    IMHO, if having sex with someone poses a risk to either party involved, it should not be done. Obvious right? But now calculate the associated risks, and I feel that if the risk factor is above such and such threshold it should be avoided as it's frankly, dangerous. If it's possible that you could die from doing it in an unsafe manner (and it is), why take the risk? I don't play Russian roulette simply because there's a 5/6 chance I'll be ok...even if it was a 1/200 risk of contracting AIDS, (which is the going statistic in some parts of the world these days) why take the risk?

    And note that I'm not referring to protected or unprotected sex in the above paragraph...I'm referring to the manner in which people select their sexual partners.

    ------------------

    I'm not going to attempt to argue that marriage is for everyone, or that it's even right for everyone, as to some people it's a truly arbitrary event: a piece of paper. To others however, it's the most wonderful of events, a highlight of their lives. This shift in cultural perspectives favours the prior interpretation, that marriage doesn't matter. Personally I'm a bit more traditional and so waiting for marriage is something I pride myself on as I feel it has shown a tremendous amount of respect for my spouse and vice-versa. Once again I'm not going to point fingers at someone who hasn't, but for me, it has a profound personal significance and I firmly believe, made me better as a person.
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2015

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