Traditional Showcase Writing Contest Version Two, Round TWO

The Rules

1. Your submission must be your own work.

2. Submissions must be private messaged to me by the due date, or they will be disqualified.

3. Your submission must be related to the theme- if it is a task to include a certain phrase, the phrase must be in there, if you're supposed to write about a certain topic, you must do so, etc. If your entry does not meet the requirements, it will not be submitted for voting.

4. Submissions should be around 1000 words. I won't automatically disqualify you if you go a little over, but try to keep it around there. If there are a lot of submissions, I want everyone to be able to devote enough time to really read all of the entries.

5. Submissions will be posted as they are sent to me. I won't do a spell or grammar check, or otherwise edit the entries.

6. One entry per person.

7. First place prize will be a rep from me, and having your work placed in the Hall of Fame. First place will also choose the next theme.

8. Keep it PG-13.

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As chosen by round one winner TheKnightofAwesome, this round is asking for a heartwarming story.

Any form of writing is acceptable, whether it be short story, play, poetry- you name it, you can submit it.

Entries must be sent to me via PM in their final edits by 11:59 pm, December 1, 2012. The entries will be posted in this thread at my convenience on December 2nd, and voting will be open until 11:59 pm on December 4th.

 

Entry One

Magic and Miracles

The door of a remote cottage opens to a tall but lean young man not a day over twenty. A beret is statured upon his head while ribbons, medals, and stripes are thrust about his uniform. Hearing the door open; the house owner enters the cozy yet warm living room. “Loren, I told you not to….” She paused. [“Deidra! I’m home!”] upon hearing the man’s words and seeing his much belated face. Deidra dropped everything that she had held and covered her face as tears began to swell. “F-FR-FRANK!” she manage to get the words out. “Yes, dear! I’m home!” he opened his arms wide and quickly embraced his wife as she tirelessly welted. “I-I-I LOVE YOU!” she cried. “And I never stopped!” he proclaimed as tears began to fill his. “And I never stopped!” As the two lovers silently embraced one’s companion, the atmosphere was filled with love and the crackle of the fireplace only added to the mood and pleasantry of a once broken couple.

In the kitchen, the faucet was running and the fresh aroma of breakfast was brewing. Deidra was washing the plates while Frank was seated in a crossed fashion reading the newspaper while sipping warm coffee. The wooden boards near the bedroom started to creak as two young children made their way to the kitchen. The oldest girl of eight who held the hand of her younger brother of three still seemed a bit dazed, by the way she rubbed her eye that remained closed. Upon seeing her mother, she said “Mommy, Boe woke me!” Deidra smiled. “Mommy what’s so funny?!” After she finished rubbing her eye, Loren opened it. “You don’t recognize your own dad!” Frank said astonish to the point of tears of how much she’s grown. By that time, Boe had already run into the arms of his father. Loren started to cry as she ran up toward him as well. “Daddy, why you leave! Why’d you leave?” she yelled and pounded into his chest. “I’m Sorry. I’m so Sorry!” he guiltily confessed. [“I promised mommy I would show Boe pictures of you every night. I promised! I stayed tough for you daddy! Very tough!”] her words began to become muffled underneath all the tears. “And I couldn’t ask for anything more” he said kissing her and her brother. “We couldn’t ask for more!” Deidra said joining in on the hugs with tears filled with happiness.

Life was better now within the cottage. Days rolled by without warning and every second with Frank was time well spent. Yes, they were memories to be treasured, always. Today, the entire family gathered around the fireplace. The light crackles of the fire occurred in a nice rhythmical beat while the fire itself warmed the family almost as much as the bowl of Chicken Noodle Soup that the young children were eating. During the dead of winter, this was always their casual tradition. “Hey, Boe! Eat up!” Frank had said. Boe was staring at his bowl of soup without words. “I’d hot!” he finally stated. “You know, Chicken Noodle Soup is good for the Soul!” Deidra chuckled and carefully sat beside Boe. She grabbed the untouched spoon taking a large scoop and blew sweetly on the soup then she cautiously placed a hand under the spoon and into the boy’s mouth. “I’m next mommy!” Loren said feeling left out. “Loren, your old enough to do it on your own” Deidra said looking at Loren pouting and mumbling adorably. “Loren, you know what we haven’t done in a long time!” her dad said in effort to cheer her up. “PIGGYBACK RIDE!!!” she shouted with her eyes beginning to widen. Deidra chuckled and Frank had a sudden recollection of what happened last time Loren was given a Piggyback ride. The thought itself caused him to rub his back. “Well, that’s one thing but” he points towards the window. “THE SUNSET!” she places the soup on the table and runs to the window. “Be careful out there; it’s cold!” Deidra said giving him ‘the look’. “You know, we will! Frank stood up and kisses his wife on the cheek. “Oh, did I tell how much I love it when you look at me that way” Deidra smiles at Frank’s comment and rolls her eyes.

“Oooooo, Pretty Mushroom” Loren was excited about something. Frank grabs his coat and walks up to Loren. “Are you sure?” he glances outside to observe for himself. “That’s not a…“ Before he could finish his sentence, the glass windows of the cottage broke inwards upon a loud and death ringing explosion. Frank had quickly shielded his daughter from the glass by hovering over her. Everything that was happening appeared in a slow lingering motion but occurred so swiftly. When Frank’s senses came to, Boe was crying. Loren appeared unconscious and Deidra was trying to console Boe although her own condition was less than great. Frank acted hastily. He lifted his daughter and went into the bedroom and soon coming out again without her. “Deidra, I need you to take care of the children!” he knelt down to her. “But Frank!” Frank suddenly cuts her off. “Promise me! Deidra, I need you to promise me!” Frank had the most courageous and sincere look on his face. The face of a dead man. “No, Frank what are you saying!” Deidra head was pounding and she sounded overexerted. “No matter what the circumstance. I love you!” he gives a last kiss to his wife and runs out grabbing his coat on the way out. “FRAAAAANK!” she yells as though her words would stop him. Frank didn’t look back. “FRANK! FRANK! FRANK!” her yells began to soften and become quieter from the muffle sobs. She places her arms around Boe and there Boe and Deidra sat weeping as the sun set over the horizons.

Hours later, Deidra was packing clothes and supplies into a suitcase. The house shook as she proceeded. Everything was happening so quickly and now they would have to flee their own home. It was too overwhelming. Deidra cringes. “Frank” tears slowly dropped into the suitcase. A timid voice spoke “Mommy we’re ready!” the voice was Loren. The dignified woman mustered enough strength to wipe the tears from her face. “Okay, let’s go!” she said grabbing her suitcase. “Me want Daddee?” Deidra was stunned in her tracks. She then flinches and turns to Boe. Her eyes were glossy as she placed both hands on his shoulders. “He’ll be back! Now we need to go now!” Deidra took the boy’s hand while her other hand contained the suitcase. Loren faltered behind with her own things as the three headed outside. The midnight air was filled with chaos and distress. The dark and distant gun shots added to the initial fear. Within yards, there was a bunker, in case of emergency that Frank built years before. The three entered. In close proximity, a flare was lit and faint voices lingered. “Hurry!” Deidra directed her children inside then closing the bunker. She pulled out blankets to provide warmth. “I’m scared! I’m really scared!” she shivered looking at her mother for support. Boe was at a loss for words obviously these events were incomprehensible for someone his age. Deidra only looked at Loren for a moment then Boe. “Me too! Me too!” She sat between them wrapping her arms around her children as the voices became louder and soon their very footprints could be heard. “Hey! Look at me! Both of you! There is nothing in this world that gives me as much joy as what you two have already given me. I’ve seen you two grow and blossom and I. I mean me and your Father couldn’t be any prouder. Deidra pauses and then resumes. “No matter what the circumstance. I love you!” Deidra embraces her children tightly as the sound of footsteps melding against the snow were just beyond the bunker’s door.

 

Entry Two

Chicken Soup for the Lost Soul: Renewal
Every day is the same day
Yelling, screaming and a knockout on a mouth that cannot be kept at bay
Each morning is a drain
My soul feels like it cannot be swayed
By any words of false encouragement
It almost as though I am going through the motion
Not living out my devotion like I should have
I had a wish to experience what I first felt between me and you
When you washed me from my past and created me anew
But no matter how much I feel as though everything is dismay
My love for you shall never change
Yet as my praise is still flowing continually in my mouth
This vessel you gave me shall always be a part of your house
Give me a chance once again to show what I can do
As you and I talk and love each other as the relationship grew
No distractions shall separate me from being connected
Or no matter how chaotic or hectic the problems in live worsen
For I know you make no mistakes in your healing
For every hell I go through, everything breakthrough you make brings back a beginning
For even now I still have faith in your non-changing power that I know you can restore children and renew
Forever and ever, Your children are the bridesmaid and you will be the groom.

 

Voting will be open until Friday at 11:59 PM CST.

 

I guess this theme was pretty hard, because I don't feel like either of the entries caught the right tone, like the stories I've read in the various Chicken Soup for the Soul collections.

With Entry One, the story started off going in the right direction, but towards the end I kind of got confused as to what was going on. There were a few grammatical errors (like the wrong "your/you're" in one spot) and there's something not quite on about the dialogue. I'm not sure how to explain it. It's just very simple, I guess. But most importantly, while the story raises questions and doesn't lack interest, when all's said and done, I don't find it heartwarming.

I'll be honest, I am not much of a fan of reading poetry. I've read some in school that I've liked well enough, but not enough to choose to read it on my own. And I especially don't like free verse. I prefer my poetry rhyming and following a rhythm and all of that. So I can't say that Entry Two is my cup of tea, either. But I do think it's more heartwarming than Entry One, if you take into account the entirety of Entry One, so Entry Two gets my vote.

As a side note, I'll leave the voting up until some time tomorrow, so if anyone still wants to, go ahead and make your choice.

 

First place is worth 6 points, second is 3. For the authors who voted, I did not count them as casting a second vote, so as to avoid them voting for themselves at all.

Entry One: 18 points

Entry Two: 21 points

Congrats to S.SummonerBWM.