KH Accidents

Making a topic is always hard. For me, it takes a week. So, as a favor please send some ideas! . Just pm me.
As for today’s story, it’s a three-part. The 2nd – 6th days of Roxas’s life. The last part is me just being lazy.

In the names of Poor Evil​

“Alright, Roxas, who’s our leader?” Axel asked.
“…,” the new Organization member replied.
“Come on, we’ve all been telling you since day one. Can’t you remember it?”
“M… ma…”
“Hmm? Can’t hear you with your zombie mumble.”
“Man… sex. Mansex.”
“That’s right, Man… No! It’s Xemna…” Axel stopped himself and a thought suddenly came to him. “Hmm, what would happen if he said that to Xemnas or the others?” he thought. “Good Roxas, our leader is Mansex. Now go and say to him.” Roxas just stood there, not knowing where to go. “Ah, right. You don’t know how to use the Corridors yet. Come on.” Axel waved his hand and the black portal appeared. He pushed Roxas in and closed it immediately so he couldn’t be traced.
“Welcome, XIII,” Xemnas said, sitting on his throne. “What brings you here?”
“Mansex,” Roxas replied.
“Excuse me?”
“You. Mansex.”
“Who taught you to say that?” Xemnas was stoic but he “felt” a fiery feeling.
“…A… Laxle.”
“Who? Axel, Lexaeus, or Larxene?” Roxas answered by slicking his hair back. “They all have their hairs going in that direction,” Xemnas replied. The newbody posed his hands in the way Axel held his chakrams, but Xemnas thought it looked like he was holding daggers. “So it was Larxene, huh? You may leave now, Roxas. And my name is Xemnas.”
“Mansex.” Then Roxas disappeared through his portal.
------------------
“Okay, Roxas,” Axel began. “That blue-haired dude is my Other’s best friend’s Other. So that makes him my best partner. His name is Saix, go greet him.”
Roxas slowly walked up to his senior. “Sex,” he greeted.
“Yes, I believe that Sora never learned that,” Saix said. “Come, I will teach you about it.”
Axel was surprised about the turn of events. When Saix said the second sentence however, he became worried about his disciple. “Hey, uh, Saix!” he called. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Axel, good timing. Throw up your chakrams.”
“What? Why?” Axel asked, but Saix’s glare was to intimidating. Axel summoned his weapon and did as he was told. Saix summoned his claymore and smashed it through one of the chakrams, breaking the middle.
“And that is what sex is,” Saix concluded. Then he walked away.
Roxas, being confused, summoned his keyblade and aimed to jam it up Saix’s –
“No! Roxas!” Axel yelled. He pushed Saix away and got the keyblade was inserted into a different hole.
----------------
“Hey, Roxas!” Zexion called. “How’s your first few days here?”
“…”
“Anyway, I need you to go get Demyx for me. He’s got my music book and I really want it back. Think you can do that?”
“…”
“I’ll give you 1000 munny.”
“…”
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’ Just go to his room and say that I sent you. Demyx should know what to do.”
Roxas went to Demyx, who was busy playing his sitar. “What’s up?” Demyx asked.
“Sexy… Zexi,” Roxas struggled to say.
“You think so too?” Demyx said excitedly. “Aw man, I’m so glad I’m not the only one here. I’ve been reading his music book so I could play a song for him.”
-------- Day 1-------
“Roxas, this is Axel,” Xemnas introduced.
“…Asshole.”
-----------------------

 

Halloween Special poem combined with a short that I tried to post last weekend. So it starts out as a poem, and then goes into a normal, disastrous atrocity of a story. But first, look at the end of my last story and read the last part which I just added.

Halloween Accident Part I​

A Halloween Fright
Waiting for screams at night
Decided to pwn at morning
Starting with her brother, snoring.


“Good morning, Soras,” their mom greeted with her backs turned towards them. “I’ve baked my special ‘Halloween Candy Pancake’ for you guys!”
“I don’t feel so good, Mom,” her husband said
“Oh, ‘Dad’, don’t call me ‘Mom’. It makes me feel so old,” she said. “Now come here and give a kiss.” She grabbed the man and almost kissed him but she was held back by her daughter, Sora.
“Mom!” the man said. “What the hell? It’s me, Sora.” He pulled his sister back and pointed to his bearded face, although he didn’t know he had one. “Don’t you recognize me?”
“Wuh? But- Is that really you, Sora?” she asked incredulously. “I mean, you have a beard just like your father!”
“Really, that’s great!” he said happily. Sora rubbed his rough chin excitedly. “Awesome, now Riku has nothing over me for Kairi.”
“Eh?” Baby Sora sounded. She touched her brother’s newfound hair and it felt exactly like their father’s. She was sure that it was Sora that took her to bed last night, as the chin was smooth (which is the only way she can tell the two guys apart).
“Hey, Mom,” Sora asked. “You look a little out of it. Are you okay?”
“Mmm? Oh, yes. I’m great,” she replied. “It’s just that yesterday your father shaved so it felt really good in bed.”
“Hey! Not in front of the baby.”
“No, I mean your dad’s beard usually bothers me when he rubs it on my-“
“Please stop.”
“It’s nothing bad. I mean to say ‘… on my NECK.’ Geez, Sora. You’re old enough to know this and Baby Sora can’t understand this, anyway.”
“She’s shaking,” Sora said and held up his sister. “Look, you’ve just traumatized her.”


But she wasn’t shaking from her mom’s story.
No, it was her mistake
and she knew it was too late
as Dad came looking like a chicken cacciatore. Only it was brown and came out of her
ONTO THE NEXT PART!!!


---------------------------Kairi’s House------------------------
“AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!” Kairi screamed as she saw her reflection this morning. This was horrible; her beautiful face was a disaster. But there was no denying the volcanic eruptions all over her face; the fissure between her teeth; a forest in her Amazonian pride; hairy legs; Sir Cusses-A-Lot sized butt; and other horrible changes that couldn’t have come at a better time than Halloween.


As Kairi mourned loudly for her beauty,
As she cried over her Amazonian pride, her back,
A White-Haired Demon-Angel
Thought it was an attack.


---------------------------Riku’s Room (Under Kairi’s Bed)---------------
“Holy crap!” Riku jumped out and through Kairi’s bed. “Kairi, what’s wrong?”

: PAUSE : This little segment explains why Riku is under Kairi’s bed. If you want to know, you can read it now or after the story. Because I won’t explain it again! So don’t expect a story about how the hell this happened. Actually, there’s nothing to worry about cuz this part ain’t going anywhere.

Riku has no place to sleep and Sora’s house is full so why not sleep in the Mayor’s house with Kairi? Okay, so there’re a lot of reasons but I’m short on time here!
Being the trusty friend he is, Sora let Riku sleep under the same roof as Kairi. Wonder how this is going to turn out… : UNPAUSE:

His goddess turned around to seek comfort, but all he could see was a demon trying to eat his brains out. Riku summoned his keyblade and knocked her out. It wasn’t until then that he noticed it was Kairi.
“Damn,” he said. “The one time I could’ve taken advantage of her and she looks like… like THIS!”

And so, we skip 12 hours later
To little kids dressed as Taters.
As Dusk gets a welcome greet,
A certain Nobody’s image is eaten, thrown up, gobbled down again, crapped out, stomped on, pissed, stabbed, mutilated, killed, and put on by his Other with a stupid beard.
Where the White-Haired Demon becomes the One-Winged Angel
And Not-So-Little -Red Riding Hood becomes Beauty in the Beast.

--------------------Halloween 8:00 pm----------------------------------
I will post this later tonight in

Halloween Accident Part 2​

 

Halloween Accident PART 2
(All story this time)​

“Hey guys!” Sora called out to Riku and Kairi. “Isn’t today great! You look awesome, Riku. And Kairi, you are the best witch ever with that make-up.” Kairi hid her “natural” face in her hands and cried. “Whoa, you okay? Did I say something?”
“Don’t worry about it, Sora,” Riku said. “She… she’s crying with happy tears because she made an awesome costume. Isn’t that right, Kairi?” She just bawled even more. “That’s a ‘yes.’ So, Sora. You’re dressed up as Roxas?”
“Are you kidding me? I look way better than that whiney loser,” Sora scoffed. In a low, retarded voice, he said, “Hey, look at me! I’m in the Organization but Nobody likes me, der. I have two awesome keyblades and fought my Other but I still lost to that stupid key of his, der. And look at this!” Sora pulled out an Organization cloak that he magically produced and put it on. “Look at my black stalker clothes. Does it make me look more feminine, der? Derderderderderderderderderderderderderderderderder!”
“Uh, Sora? You okay there, bud?” Riku asked, worried.
“DerderderderderderderderderderderderderderderderderDERAAAAAAAAAA!!!” Sora was engulfed in a dark light that actually blinded Riku. When it receded, Sora was still there; dressed as Roxas and dyed blonde hair. Only, the style and size were exactly like Roxas’s this time. “Damn, that was annoying.”
“Sora?”
“No, it’s Roxas this time,” Roxas answered. “I’m so glad that my cloak can bring me out. Hah, so this is Halloween.”
“ Roxas,” Kairi said. “Can you bring Sora back out?”
“Who are you, ugly?”
The she-beast started crying, and wishing that she could just hide. A rainbow light surrounded her and the same thing happened again. A puberty-free Namine stepped out of the light, dazed and confused. “Namine, you’re out too!” Roxas exclaimed.
“What happened,” she asked.
“It seems that Kairi was able to switch with you to hide herself,” Riku analyzed. “Roxas here appeared when Sora put on his cloak.”
“Yeah, and I’m not going back for a long time!” Roxas yelled. “Come on, Namine. We’re gonna have fun for Halloween.” He grabbed the horrible drawer’s hand and ran away from Riku.
“Um, guys… What the hell?”
-------------------------------------------------
Roxas and Namine enjoyed their day of freedom, until Sora’s dad came out and scared everyone. His face was covered with a brown and stinky substance that his daughter accidentally splat on him. All the kids were terrified at both the hideous and stinky mask that is crap.
“Stay back,” Roxas told Namine. He tried to summon his keyblades, but nothing came out. “What’s going on?”
”Haha, sucker,” Sora thought to Roxas. I have the keyblades with me, so you can’t summon them!
His dad turned towards Roxas and Namine, and ran straight towards them yelling, “Pelp! Pelp!” He means to ask for help, but he just sounds like a maniac. Namine grabbed an egg from a prankster that was running by and threw it at Sora’s dad. The other trick-or-treaters noticed the demonstration and started doing the same. Eventually, the poor guy succumbed to the bombings and fell.
“There you guys are,” Riku said behind the Nobodies. He took off Roxas’s cloak and blindfolded Namine. Immediately, the two turned back to normal; Kairi even lost all of her little problems.
--------------------------------------Halloween 10 pm-------------------
“Wow, that was one heck of a holiday,” Sora said. He dropped his bucketful of treats and fell down on a sofa.
“True that!” Kairi said and thumped her chest. She had gained her confidence back and loved it all. “Oh, Sora. Is that a beard?”
“Oh yeah! Like it?”
“Eww, no!” Kairi denied. “I prefer smooth men.” She scooted over to Riku, who put his arms around her.
“Alrighty then,” Sora said nonchalantly. “But you might wanna look at what next to you.” Kairi looked at Riku, but her face met a hairy and sweaty armpit instead. She ran towards the window and hurled. “That can’t be good for her,” Sora commented. “She’s gonna become anorexic if this keeps up.”
The door burst open and Sora’s dad came in; egged and pooped on in one day, he looked like a monster. But there was something else that made him truly horrific. It was his-
“Dad, you’re allergic to eggs!” Sora exclaimed. His dad answered by pulling out his own eye. The free friends yelled. Kairi, once again, heaved out but on Sora’s head. He heaved on Riku who went for the trash and dunked his head inside only to have a freshed out diaper stick to his head.



Happy Halloween KHP Members!

 

Thanks Zerieth, for the tip. I was candy wasted from Halloween.
Anyway, there's no story for November as I have been working on something for both this thread and the short story competition Destiny created, although I'll use the short version for competition since it'd due on the 11th. Be a little more patient until December 16th. You'll be happy. Probably.

 

Sorry guys, I did not think this through. I finished the first and last part of the story, but I didn't work anything in between. I've totally overestimated myself. However, I will submit the beginning. Afterwards, I'll be editing the post and add more stories as I finish along the holidays. I'm editing and not adding because I'm a rule-following-freak; in other words, I don't wanna add any more posts than I have to. You can check daily/weekly/next month to read them if you're really excited. Or you can wait till I make a new post saying that I finished it all and it's ready for alls you fans to read! Whatever choice you make, I hope you enjoy this last short story.

13 Days of Christmas​

Day 0: The TRUE meaning of Christmas

With all thirteen members gathered in the Round Room, Xemnas announced, “Good tidings, friends. Fourteen days from now is a momentous day. It is Christmas, a day where everyone with warm hearts get their wishes granted and presents given to them. For the last ten years, we have been working to grant those wishes and making those presents. And why do we do this, new members? So we can make those warm hearts strong and… ‘happy’. Then, when they sleep, the Heartless will rise and feast. It is our job to find those that are emblems and gather them so Roxas will take their hearts. If they are of the pure kind, let them take those strong hearts for they will create Nobodies and increase our army.”
“Starting tomorrow, we will begin working. The odd numbered members will make the toys and the evens will find people with wishes for six days. Then you will switch roles for another six days. On the thirteenth day, we will all go to different worlds and deliver toys and create these miracles. During the night of Christmas, you are all to go collect the Heartless. Go and prepare, Organization XIII.”
The twelve Nobodies exited the room via dark corridor, onto their mission at hand.