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Post Critiques

Discussion in 'Archive' started by EbeneezerAl, Dec 6, 2007.

  1. Dec 6, 2007 #1
    EbeneezerAl

    EbeneezerAl New Member

    Post a link to one of your posts in an RP topic and people will critique it. Critiques will be friendly and constructive. Do NOT flame someone or insult their RP skill. The idea is to help them improve their RPing, not to bash them for not being as good as you.

    By the same token, this is meant to be a critique, so people will be pointing out your flaws. If you cannot handle this, don't post here. You cannot improve your RP if no one tells you what you are doing wrong.

    That being said, critique away.
     
  2. Jul 19, 2008 #2
    Nova

    Nova A Ghost Staff Member Administrator

    Ok, this is a conversation/fight between my character Jaxx, Demon's character Semnax, and Shikamaru's character Hunter.
    Semnax was getting on Hunter and Jaxx's last nerve with all of his complaining and stuf and then Semnax accused Hunter's brother of not being who everyone thought he was. When Jaxx defended him, Semnax called her a whore and Jaxx lost it.
    Semnax and Jaxx are best friends and Hunter and Jaxx are in love.
    Hunter didn't help Jaxx fight Semnax because he realized it wasn't his place to protect Jaxx in this fight.
    Its one of the more intense fights my character has been in. You only have to critique my posts I just put Shikamaru's and Demon's in there so you wouldn't be lost as to what she was talking about.
    LOL, please be nice... :D

    Ok, SOMEBODY had to start posting on this thread. This thread was a good idea so I decided to start it so its not dead anymore. Please post here people, I think it will make the RPs more fun if everyone works at improving eachothers RP skills :D
     
  3. Jul 19, 2008 #3
    Yukie

    Yukie Fist Pumps

    Well, personally I am just tired of the one liner post. Even though I do them here and there. Come on, let's put some juice into the post. You know your post doesn't need you character to talk. Describe the situation. Describe the attacks. Describe your feelings.

    I know I have to work on my grammer usage and stop making up all these characters! Heheh!
     
  4. Jul 19, 2008 #4
    Sephiroth X Slasher

    Sephiroth X Slasher Banned

    I like one liners, when you have no time you can make a good impact on the story.
     
  5. Jul 19, 2008 #5
    Nova

    Nova A Ghost Staff Member Administrator

    I dissagree, Seph. One liners don't usually put a good impact on the RP. A lot of the time, they don't even make any sence. You want to make a good impact, write a good post. I'm starting to think that we should add it to the rules. At least four sentences per post in RP's :D
     
  6. Jul 19, 2008 #6
    Oath

    Oath King Bitch™

    I think these are really great, Hope. You could work on some SP errors but thats pretty much it.
    Demon, work on making your posts longer and more detailed.
    Shikamaru, same as Demon
     
  7. Jul 19, 2008 #7
    ü

    ü 30•05•2010

    A lot of RP starters put this as a in RP rule. But know one listens, its get quite annoying. Not trying to be bitchy. But like you know when your trying hard to keep it going and then people come in with horrible one liners that throw everything off balance. And then leave it up to you to fix and fit them in..

    Ill post some examples of my RP on timeless evil eternal love, I want be critiqued :D

    But in topic to what you said. Yes i think that would make a great rule. Or a minimum word rule per-post

    EDIT: here's some of my RP from TE,EL.. Please comment and criticize

     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2008
  8. Jul 19, 2008 #8
    Oath

    Oath King Bitch™

    LOL, your pretty good at that. I think KeyofHope and I may have a run for our money on Top Roleplayer. Thats good though cause we could use the competition :D
    Nobody here really gets the whole detailed post thing most of the time.
    I think you could focus on the characters feelings a little though. Plus, same as Hope you have some SP errors.
     
  9. Jul 19, 2008 #9
    ü

    ü 30•05•2010

    Thanks. hehe. That's my second ever role-play. I haven't really seen much of yours and KOH's role-plays, but I'm sure they're a lot better. Yeah i think that's fair to say. My main probably when writing essay's etc.. and acting is portraying feelings. But i hope to improve with practice
     
  10. Jul 21, 2008 #10
    Nova

    Nova A Ghost Staff Member Administrator

    LOL, Amy's right. We might have some competition if anyone would ever vote on Roleplayer of the week recently. You should stop nominating me, Amy. Nobody ever votes and its not really fair :)
    You're a really good RPer Sao-sao but Amy's right. You could do something about detail. And your not near as bad of a speller as I am :D
     
  11. Aug 2, 2008 #11
    shadoweddestroyer

    shadoweddestroyer Member

    Yeah i must say DOD you need to work on grammar and length. Ummm im gonan post some from your RP Desert Starts Hope. In fact at time of postage you havent seen them yet yourself :D

    http://kh-3.net/forums/canon-roleplays/1915-desert-stars-rated-m-safety-rp-limited-2.html

    This was between me and demon with me having to start the RP because Hope didnt want to ;)

    Take into account that It was nearly 11pm at night please lol

    Ignore the OOC parts of it and dont bother past the 2nd page the 3rd page is just me commenting on the lack of...well people....
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2008
  12. Oct 29, 2008 #12
    OverLord Abaross

    OverLord Abaross Prince of sayians

    hmm I see you and Dyl are in a argument about rep points
     
  13. Nov 1, 2008 #13
    Chocobo Dyl

    Chocobo Dyl New Member

    and sao-sao actually,i don't think i have any good posts hmmmmm....
     
  14. Nov 17, 2008 #14
    Nova

    Nova A Ghost Staff Member Administrator

    *Stay on topic please guys! lol*

    Shad I think your RPing is awesome. You really know how to add detail and make it interesting to read. DOD, some grammar corrections would make your posts a little better but you still are doing a really good job. I would consider staying on task a little better in Roleplaying for just about everyone on this site as well. Leave OOC or Chat posts to PM. :D
     
  15. Jan 1, 2009 #15
    shadoweddestroyer

    shadoweddestroyer Member

    Aw thankyou ^_^

    I'm working on getting minimum post count up, or a VBmod. This would stop one liners :)

    Take a look on the Suggestions & Contributions if you wanna' put a word in.
     
  16. Jan 3, 2009 #16
    Nova

    Nova A Ghost Staff Member Administrator

    This thread is here for a reason people! It will really help to improve your roleplaying if you would just use it and help eachother out!
     
  17. Jan 22, 2009 #17
    Nova

    Nova A Ghost Staff Member Administrator


    This is my most recent RP post. Rate and Citique please!

    *Explanation: Jaxx is a nobody but she is also a princess of heart and a keyblade berrer but in this particular RP your powers as a princess of heart stay with you until you reach age Twenty-Two which is what happened just before this post. Hunter is Jaxx's love. She's been with him for more than five years before he died protecting her. He came back from the dead for her in the beginning of this RP.
    Eve is Jaxx's evil side. She is actually a part of Jaxx but she isn't actually a PART of her anymore. She and Jaxx are opposite in every way but she and jaxx still have the same mind and 'heart' so they are still technically the same person. Jaxx just lost her power of Kingdom Hearts and she believes that the light and all who dwell in it have used her. *:eek: oh noez is she turning to the dark side!!!!!? ~Dun~Dun~Dun~*
     
  18. Mar 2, 2009 #18
    shadoweddestroyer

    shadoweddestroyer Member

    First of all is the usual criticism for your posts, some of the spellings ^_^ But it's much better than a month or two ago, so GJ on that :D

    Second thing is your speech. Sometimes the grammar is a little off, but the thing I'm on at is using the word 'Said' alot. Try to vary this, most speech is either no said, asked, yelled etc, or uses said. >.< Good variations when you want to speak in such a way that said suggests are moaned, muttered, whined, concluded or to be really simple and put it in such a way that the character seems to be simply saying it, stated. : D

    That's all :)
     

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